Toaster Vs. Self

I was all set to unleash my glee over our new toaster. I really was.

At our recent wedding shower one of the gifts we received was the most beautiful red toaster one could ever imagine. I, myself, had selected this toaster out of the quite literally billions on the Target website and placed it upon our wedding registry, daring to dream someday it might be part of what will be our new Rockin Red Kitchen.

One of our relatives came through! And happiness was spread throughout the land!

We opened our Oster toaster over the weekend and, oh, it is a glorious sight to behold!

Simply gorgeous!

It matches the new microwave (which also Rules Everything Appliance) perfectly!

Imagine the joy when we found out our fab new toaster came with “advanced Toast Technology!”

By the way – love the subliminal messages on the packaging…”INSPIRED,” “SAVORY”…

Well, little did I know this little demon’s “advanced Toast Technology” really meant it will attack and attempt to kill it’s master! This morning I used my beloved for the first time and upon attempting to retrieve my bagel I was accosted and left with a mild second-degree burn on my right thumb. With the attempt to rescue part 2 of my bagel I achieved a minor 1st degree burn on my right ring finger.

Beware… the appliance revolt has begun!