Like, the 80s are totally back!

So I was at a mall last weekend and decided to stop in Forever 21. This store has a history of having cool clothes that are always sold out in my size. Seriously, I envy tiny chicks – mostly because they always get to have clothes available when they want to shop. I’m not fat – I’m the same size as everyone else. And everyone else beats me to the racks! When when when will stores figure out they need to order more larger sizes and fewer smaller sizes? You’d think they’d get a clue when all the clearance merch is size 0!

Well, while I was grumbling around Forever 21, I made a shocking discovery. The 80s are totally back. I saw this trend coming a few years ago, yes. But it’s shocking that (a) it’s still here (b) it’s more pervasive than ever (c) this is upstate NY (does that mean the trend is dying it’s natural death? oh probably) and (d) the 80s trend covers the best and worst of my 6th & 7th grade years er, I mean 1984-1986.

What got me in the store in the first place is a Duran Duran T-shirt with the cover of the Rio album on it that I think I’ve wanted since 1984. It’s not on the website, and they didn’t have my size (in 2 different Forever 21 stores) so I can’t show it to you. Nor can I show you the T-shirt I did end up buying - a Stones one with a zebra-print tongue logo (not on the site and I don’t feel like taking a picture).

What shocked me the most was (sit down, folks)…

STIRRUP PANTS!

What the…? I mean, I knew leggings were desperately trying to forge a comeback, but stirrup pants? In 7th grade I had a bitchen purple pair. I remember even at that age the stirrups annoyed the living shiz out of us all and we almost never ended up wearing them in our shoes all day. They were so irritating on the feet. This one won’t last.

Speaking of leggings – animal print leggings were in the store. Including this leopard pair!

Need more proof? How about these photos from the Forever 21 site?

You get the idea. Actually, redoing the 80s fashion seems like it could be fun. If only I weren’t about to turn 35! I’d feel totally dorkalicious wearing stirrup pants now! Hell, I was dorkalicious wearing them then!

And the 70s? If you’re looking for 70s yumminess I suggest you look no further than the dress department!

Native American Smurfs!

Originally posted 11/11/2007

Who knew???

Yep, Smurfs are BACK, bitchez! I was running around the Target site getting all caught up in our wedding registry when I came across several toys from the 70s and 80s that are making a comeback. None caught me more by surprise than the new Smurfs sets.

I have very vivid memories of playing with these kinds of little smurf dolls over at my friend Linda’s house as a child. We’d put on Smurf talent shows or just play out some Smurf dramz. Now I always see several bins full of those miniatures at every flea market we visit. I’ve always thought about buying them while the price was low. Never did it. Maybe I still have time before their value increases. Well, who knows if they ever really will increase in value. But the appearance of NEW Smurf toys is a great sign.

They even have Gargamel’s lab…

…and Smurfette’s bedroom set!

Not to mention the best Smurf ever…this bitchen drummer Smurf!

La la la la la la, smurf the whole day long!

Long live the 80s!

I’ve been Bitten!

Originally posted 06/10/2007

Sarah Jessica Parker is a goddess. I don’t have HBO so I never saw Sex And The City, but of course I’ve seen pictures of SJP over the last 10 years. Moreover, I trust anyone that would do Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. That’s why (well, sorta why…LOL) when I found out SJP was launching a clothing line at Steve & Barry’s called Bitten, and that each piece would be under $20 I knew I had to check it out. The sizes were supposed to be wide-ranging, but still I was skeptical. I can never, and I mean never, find tops that fit me right. When I do it is a lucky day indeed. I am not fat – I am an average sized 5’6″ woman. My chest is on the large side (natural) but I have very narrow shoulders. Shirts that can accomodate my chest very often slide right off my shoulders. Designers forget a large chest does not equal a fat body. They also forget that tops that look good a little snug on your chest may be too snug in the waist line. They just don’t know how to design for a woman with curves. The cuts are made for pre-pubescents with boy bodies. Tops – not just in juniors, run stupid small. And they love to charge more for a size they consider larger. So, I can usually forget about finding tops that don’t cost a fortune. But I’m always looking. And I don’t think I’m alone because the XXL I take in a juniors size top is always sold out first. You’d think the idiots would order more of that size. Even then it depends on the manufacturer whether it will fit right. SO ANNOYING.

So I was skeptical that this little tiny actress would know what so many women like me are looking for. It’s simple really, and I’m surprised no one has hit on it before. We just want clothes designed for normal women at a price we can afford. Sarah Jessica Parker’s done it!

I went to Steve and Barry’s a skeptical, cynical clothing shopper and came out a shiny, happy person! I spent $86 and change and walked away with 4 tops, 1 pair of jeans, 2 skirts, a pair of ballet flats, and a necklace. The most any one thing cost was $14.98 and that was the jeans. The fit of the tops varied – in one kind I was a XXL and in another I was an XL. In another I could have gone smaller. I don’t care, as long as one fits right. You can tell from guessing one size and trying it on whether it’s right or you should go up or down one size. I did this with a few things, bought them without trying them on again and they fit perfectly when I got them home.

The weirdest thing was the ballet flats. Usually I wear a 7.5 or 8 size shoe. I tried on an 8 and they were waaay too tight. I ended up with a 9.5 – a full size and a half larger than usual. Again, I don’t care because I found the one that fit and that’s all that counts. 

I didn’t even get to look at the dresses, bathing suits, pajamas, jackets, or most of the jewelry and sunglasses. I am foaming at the mouth to go back. I am going to have to seriously control myself. 

I cannot say enough good things about this line. It’s just the basics, nothing too fancy. But everything is NICE. it’s well made (they say they kept the cost down by keeping advertising to a minimum and making things in bulk – or something like that – I don’t care as long as 3 year olds aren’t making the line!). And it is SO AFFORDABLE!

I urge every woman – it is your DUTY as a woman to run to your nearest Steve & Barry’s and check out this clothing line. We have to keep it going.

I am so happy I found a place I can afford to buy tons of decent clothes that actually fit me, not “sorta fit me good enough” which is what I usually compromise. 

God bless you Sarah Jessica Parker! Thank you on behalf of women everywhere!!!