Amalgamation

I want to be witty and funny in a post to balance out yesterday’s depressing update (and as usual if you want to read my private stuff just leave me a comment and I’ll give you the password – it’s private only to foil sploggers).

I’m so tired I can’t find my wits!

I was reading up on ANA tests again today and came upon the fact that ANA results can be false positive if you’re on The Pill. Oh my freaking god. If I’m going through all this torture again and it’s due to this, my 4th bc pill in as many years… I’m gonna, I’m gonna… ARRRGH!

Things are About To Happen at work. In that “no one knows what the f is going on” kind of way. Tomorrow should be informative and either a relief or extremely upsetting. I can hardly stand myself waiting.

I got a new cell phone. It’s totally gorgeous:

I am massively in love with this phone and my plan. At work they refuse to hook my department up to the internet. With this baby and my plan I have foiled all that. Now I can live in the 00s and check CNN or the weather or even myspace whenever I flippin want to! So, ha ha!

I’ve been desperately looking for a Halloween costume but I can’t decide on anything. I tried this bit of awesomeness on at the Hallween store next to our complex:

So, because this costume would RULE in our circles, naturally it didn’t fit. Which brings me to a bitch fit about Halloween costume companies. Apparently, they think every woman is a playmate with a perfect and unnaturally thin bod. As I’ve said MANY times before, I am not fat. I’m curvy, though. This style doesn’t come in any size over Large. I take at least an XL to get over my chest. I also have a long torso. Consequently this getup barely covered my ass. SO DISAPPOINTED.

I did try on and enjoy this little number at a different store:

And it did fit perfectly and looked AWESOME. My husband didn’t seem to care for it. What the picture doesn’t show is how very VERY bright it actually is. I didn’t care, though. I dig it and still may get it.

Except we suddenly realized yesterday that we have nowhere to go on Halloween night anyway.

(sigh)

Like, the 80s are totally back!

So I was at a mall last weekend and decided to stop in Forever 21. This store has a history of having cool clothes that are always sold out in my size. Seriously, I envy tiny chicks – mostly because they always get to have clothes available when they want to shop. I’m not fat – I’m the same size as everyone else. And everyone else beats me to the racks! When when when will stores figure out they need to order more larger sizes and fewer smaller sizes? You’d think they’d get a clue when all the clearance merch is size 0!

Well, while I was grumbling around Forever 21, I made a shocking discovery. The 80s are totally back. I saw this trend coming a few years ago, yes. But it’s shocking that (a) it’s still here (b) it’s more pervasive than ever (c) this is upstate NY (does that mean the trend is dying it’s natural death? oh probably) and (d) the 80s trend covers the best and worst of my 6th & 7th grade years er, I mean 1984-1986.

What got me in the store in the first place is a Duran Duran T-shirt with the cover of the Rio album on it that I think I’ve wanted since 1984. It’s not on the website, and they didn’t have my size (in 2 different Forever 21 stores) so I can’t show it to you. Nor can I show you the T-shirt I did end up buying - a Stones one with a zebra-print tongue logo (not on the site and I don’t feel like taking a picture).

What shocked me the most was (sit down, folks)…

STIRRUP PANTS!

What the…? I mean, I knew leggings were desperately trying to forge a comeback, but stirrup pants? In 7th grade I had a bitchen purple pair. I remember even at that age the stirrups annoyed the living shiz out of us all and we almost never ended up wearing them in our shoes all day. They were so irritating on the feet. This one won’t last.

Speaking of leggings – animal print leggings were in the store. Including this leopard pair!

Need more proof? How about these photos from the Forever 21 site?

You get the idea. Actually, redoing the 80s fashion seems like it could be fun. If only I weren’t about to turn 35! I’d feel totally dorkalicious wearing stirrup pants now! Hell, I was dorkalicious wearing them then!

And the 70s? If you’re looking for 70s yumminess I suggest you look no further than the dress department!