Last Night’s Encounter

I had another “sleep paralysis/hypnagogic hallucination” last night. It had been building slowly over the previous few nights, after not happening for a few weeks now. Two nights ago I was dreaming that I couldn’t move my right thumb and was scared. When I woke up for real I couldn’t move it at first! It was not asleep. Whatever it was wore off quickly and I was left with the frightened feeling.

Notes: I have been very tired this week. I’m off Microgestin this week.

Whatever. Last night was a doozy.

It happened as usual where I drifted off to “sleep” but could feel the buzzy paralysis feeling coming on. I was in an out like that for a little bit. When these episodes happen I always have a hard time remembering the details the next day, so I can’t say exactly what happened but next thing I knew I was very, very frightened. For no reason this time that I can recall. Sometimes it comes from the feeling that I can’t move but this time was different, I know it wasn’t that. I was just scared. Brian – a dark, shadowy figure – was next to me in bed and leaned over me to console me – to tell me it was ok.

Only it wasn’t Brian! As “he” pulled me into his arms and said the words, “It’s alright, it’s okay…” while patting my back and hugging me ever tighter, I realized it was not Brian’s voice and, moreover, my eyes were not open and I was not, in fact, awake. As I realized this the thing’s grip got tighter and I panicked and finally woke myself up for real.

I jumped awake, was terrified, whimpering and out of breath. Brian – who had been asleep for real – woke up from my making noise and proceeded to really comfort me.

I cried for a half an hour.

I was so frightened and SURE there was something in the room with us still. When I finally calmed down (Brian had to turn on the light this time, usually I don’t need that – and I was even too scared to roll over and turn on my own light this time, too!), I went back to sleep with no further interruption.

I don’t know if this just a clinical problem – or if it’s a clinical problem that unintentionally opens the doorways to other dimensions. No one really knows. But I have had too much happen to me for my mind not to be open. I know I am sensitive.

One other happening I wanted to write about happened a few weeks ago. I fell asleep with one hand under my pillow – as I usually do. This time as I fell asleep I felt another hand grab mine. Not sinister or evil that time. But it still frightened me, of course. I wish I could keep my composure in such episodes. I’m trying to work on that.

One thing I have noticed works wonders to keep these episodes from happening is that I now try to say the Lord’s prayer to myself – as well as some other prayers – before I fall asleep. I also envision myself wrapped in a protective white light. I got the idea from a paranormal message board. I am not particularly religious, and nothing else ever worked before so I had no real hope that this trick would work. But, lo and behold – it usually does! Or it at least keeps episodes from becoming too frightening.

I forgot to do it last night.