Migraine again

Originally posted 09/10/2007

I wanted to make a point of writing this down because I think I am developing a new theory about my sleep paralysis and hypnagogic hallucinations. I think they might be a kind of migraine “aura” for me. I got another migraine yesterday. It was brutal by the time I went to sleep last night. I have to talk to Brian, because sometimes I don’t remember but I don’t think I had a sp/hh episode last night. Interesting. The only other “aura” I had for this migraine was a sudden sick-to-my-stomach episode at work on Wednesday with no known cause. I’m trying to keep track of this stuff to figure out the causes or the patterns. It is complicated now that I am switching bc pills once again, though. 

So, I’m still in the “getting over it” stage of this migraine and feel loopy. it’s funny, the one migrine I ever had with a standard aura (blurry spots in my vision), the migraine itself wasn’t as bad as my usual ones, but the aftemath of not feeling myself was worse and went on for days. Now I still feel a little headachey, but not so loopy as that.

I have to say – what is wrong with me? My grandmother is in the throes of Alzheimer’s Disease or some kind of dementia right now. My mother, sister, and cousin and I are scared to death it will be our inherited legacy as well. My grandmother’s mother died of this disease after a loooong bout of living in a nursing home. Most, if not all, of her sisters (6, I think) have died of this disease. Right now my grandmother’s at the stage where she’s still aware enough to live by herself but unaware that she’s repeating herself and making no sense most of the time, not understanding why my mother and her sister have to take care of her affairs. She’s getting belligerent but no one wants to put her in a home and “break her spirit.” I will say one thing: the women on that side of the family are strong as oxes. It’s a handed-down thing to say that they have that “strong pioneer spirit.” That side of the family has a history in America going back hundreds of years. The women tend to have this Alzheimers problem but very, very strong hearts, so they live a long time despite being, eventually, completely out-of-it. Scary stuff. So there is some kind of bad “brain thing” that runs in my family. My sister had (she is currently off medication and doing ok so far so I don’t know if it’s still described as her “having” it now) epilepsy. She had two major seizures. Both, I think, when she was extremely over-tired. And I get this stupid sleep-paralysis/hypnagogic hallucination thing when I am over-tired or over-stressed, or in a pms state. Brain problems. Scary.